In Mexico, today begins the celebration of Día de los Muertos —Day of the Dead. Families gather to revere departed loved ones, and everyone surrounds themselves with delicious candied skulls and other festive skeleton imagery, making Day of the Dead the safest time of year to encounter a skeleton. But what should you do if you meet a skeleton on one of the other 249 days of the year?
- Lull the skeleton to sleep by playing a soothing xylophone melody on its ribcage.
- Trick the skeleton into pursuing you into a dog park, where he will be hastily disassembled and buried.
- If famed film director Tim Burton is around, he will likely become so enraptured by the skeleton that he will try to marry it.
- Donate the skeleton to a local medical college so that students can use it for their annual bone fight.
- Trick the skeleton into being eaten by a different skeleton—he's clearly starving!
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